New Year, New Me…

Today we closed out another year the end of 2015. Another year of unmet goal. Some of us may have met our goals; however, I’m sure most of us fell short somewhere. Sometimes we have to keep out goals to ourselves and just go out there and do it. I’m so fed up with the negative people of the world who just can’t stand to see someone have dreams. No matter what the situation is we should all strive to reach our goals even if it’s a little goal such as having $200 saved in an emergency fund or a larger goal to pay off all your debt.

We have to learn to surround ourselves with positive people who are willing to uplift us despite what they have going on. That was one of my goals for 2015 to stop being such a negative, complaining, and worrying person. I got the first two done even though it took me to almost the end of the year. The last one is still a work in progress. I think that I need to work on my prayer life and it will help me with all the other areas of my life that I am confused about and just at a lost at what to do. I’m going to start handing things over to God.

At church our pastor always preach that if you come to the altar to pray than whatever it is that was on your heart that you are asking God to handle to leave it there. You have to have faith that he will deliver you from all your worries. I did this one important aspect of my life and that is with my husband. After his major health scare I thought he had learned his lesson and quit smoking. When I found out he was smoking I was angry, scared, and possible resentful. I tried to let him know how it affected me and the impact it was having on our family. His only response was I was not a smoker so, I could not possibly understand why it was so hard for him to quit.  For a small moment in our entire marriage I was feeling very negative feelings towards him (they may have been borderline hatred) and I did not like it. SO, I got up one Sunday and I went to the altar and I prayed and I told God that I would no longer fuss, fight, or resent my husband for his choices. Instead I gave him to God and asked him to deliver him. Since that moment I have been at peace. (By the way I just watched the War Room for the 1st time today) It confirmed that I did the right thing in asking God to deliver my husband and it was my job to love, support, and forgive him.

On this 31st day of December 2015, I am leaving all my worries of 2015 with God. I will no longer worry about my finances, children(no longer going to be the crazy mama, might have to change the name of my blog), marriage, career, and school. I give it all to him and have faith that in due time it will all work in my favor as he wants it to be.  I still have my dreams and things that I want to accomplish; however, I am learning that it will all happen in due season. “When God pushes you to the edge of difficulty, trust him fully because two things can happen either he’ll catch you when you fall or he will teach you how to fly.”

So, set out this year to make improvements in your life and obtain your dreams; however, I want to you to keep a few things in mind: (Rick Warren 6 phases of faith)

  1. Dream: You have a vision
  2. Decision: Make a decision to go after your dream
  3. Delay: There’s always one while you’re working on the vision, God is working on you
  4. Difficulty: God is more interested in your character than your career
  5. Dead End: It looks like it will never happen
  6. Deliverance: You made it happen! God specializes in turning crucifixion into resurrection

This is your life so, live it to the best of your ability. Have faith in God that he will move mountains or at least guide you on an alternate route. No matter how big or how small whatever it is on your heart to do you can do it. Take the time to educate yourself.  If getting your finances need to get in order read books on finances there are tons of free ones on Amazon if you download the kindle app to any smartphone or tablet.  Talk with people who are doing what you want to do and find out how they did it and what made them successful. You would be amazed and how many people are willing to mentor you.

I close this year in saying don’t give up as long as you woke up this morning your one step closer to your dreams, goals, and/or vision. I hope that everyone has a prosperous year and I will see you in 2016.

Dear God,

I pray that whoever is reading my blog is touched and inspired to go out and reach their highest goals. I pray that you give the courage and strength to overcome their fears or anything else that may holding them back. Help them to understand that we are all faced with setbacks in our life; however, we must remain faithful that you will assist us in our comeback.  I pray for health and safety of everyone and their families.

Amen

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” NLT Mark 11:24

 

 

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Self-Improvement

Self improvement has been the main theme of my life for the past couple of months. I’m setting goals and working to make things happen. As the kids are getting older I know it’s time for Donta and myself to step into our own and begin living our dreams. I will start by making the following steps:

  1. I will read at least one book a day on either finance or business.“The number one problem in today’s generation and economy is the lack of financial literacy.” –Alan Greenspan
  2. I will develop a working budget and stick to it.
  3. I am going to save at least $10,000 by next Black Friday

These are only a start to my madness. I’m starting to realize that if, I ever want to retire and live comfortably I will need to start making power moves. I’m aiming for a higher tax bracket and financial freedom by the time I’m 35 that’s less than 2 years away and I will make it.

 

What the HELL is the problem? 

So in the wake of the events in Paris people are changing their Facebook pictures to show that they are thinking of or praying for the victims of Paris. Now this is causing another uproar that because you are showing compassion for Paris you can not possibly care about any other matters in the world. Social media is not my life it does not dictate all the things that I care about, pray about, and consciously think about on a daily basis. 

This just goes to show you that the world is out to crucify you no matter what you support or believe I there will always being someone with something negative to say. I have compassion for most world issues and events. I am aware of the protest at Mizzou, black lives matters, genocide in Africa, and the million other sad and tragic events taking place in place in the world. 

So I ask What the HELL is the problem? The problem is it’s too many people who think they have the authority to judge others. I will not allow anyone tell me that I should not care about others. Biggest issue in the black community is we talk down on our own people more than others. We can’t come together as a people because we don’t know how to stand together. Civil Rights leaders were able to do what they did because the community supported them. They were able to travel to different areas because the community raised the money for them to go and to ensure their families were taken care of while they were gone. 

Communities today are unwilling to do those same things for the people in our communities to have leaders that are willing to stand on the front line daily for our fight. So, I’m just venting but, “People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

It’s just my opinion which, I normally keep to myself. 

Gratitude

It’s the 1st week in November my most favorite time of year. I love the holiday season it brings me so much joy to know that I will get to spend time with my family, get an extra few days off of work, and maybe get a nice gift or two. If you ever wanted me to do something or even give you anything if you ask around this time of year and you just might get it. I love the holidays right down to spend my Sundays watching Christmas Movies on Hallmark and Family Channel.Gratitude is something we often leave out because we get some complacent in our everyday lives that we forget that our lives could have been totally different. When do we stop and be thankful for the multitude of things that we do have and our blessed with. Do we complain about our jobs? (My hand is held real high on this one) Do we complain about our bills? Do we complain about being overwhelmed due to the many activities we chose for our lives(or our children’s lives)? But, think about it what if you didn’t have a job how would your survive. If we have bills that means we have lights, shelter, water, gas, and other necessities for life. We are blessed to have the ability to be overwhelmed and engage in many activities and place our kids in activities. It’s somewhere right now praying for your jobs, your bills, and your life.

Gratitude: “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”

I’ve been working with a client on Mindfulness exercises and many of them have been about stopping and paying attention to things in our surroundings we normally ignore. To focus on what we hear, see, and smell. “Stop and smell the roses.” We spend so much time focused on what we’re buying for Christmas and so upset if we can’t afford things for our kids. But, is that really what the season is about just what we purchase. We need to stop and really focus on the true meaning of the season and be more giving of ourselves than of our money. We should challenge everyone try to do at least one thing this holiday season to do at least one act of kindness for someone else. Especially our children challenge them to think of one kind act they can do for others. They must decide on their own and make a plan to put it into action. This bring back the true meaning of the Holiday season.

 

 

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Expect the Unexpected

As I planned this weekend I didn’t think we would have ended up in the ICU, not just the hospital the INTENSIVE CARE UNIT.  Our Saturday started as planned we got up preparing to support our cousin Chanel at the 2015 ALS Walk. It wasn’t too cold or too warm. It was a rather great Fall day. One thing that was a little off is Donta woke up with a cold (sore throat, headache, and a cough). I thought that was it but, what he wasn’t tell me was he was struggling to breathe. So, we stopped at the pharmacy got some cold medicine and an orange juice and were on our way. We started the walk he only did one lap and snuck off to the side to smoke. I was cool I finished all 6 laps and came back and mingled with the family. On our way home he request to go lay down before our son’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. We made it to the party. Donta was talking to all our friends and everything was great. Until he started to decline.

I got him to the hospital where he was immediately given a breathing treatment. After a couple of hours and on progress they decided to admit him to the Progressive Care Unit (PCU). It was there where things went from bad to worst. He was still struggling to breathe and working his body in triple overtime. I was scared I wanted to cry. All I could think was they better not let him die. Finally the nurse was able to get a hold of the doctor and they placed him on a Bipap machine which, is one step away from a ventilator. I was up to the wee hours of the morning watching the monitor, praying, and thinking about our life. The next day they attempted to take him off the Bipap he didn’t last 3 minutes before he was struggling to breathe. The doctor finally reported he needed to stay on it for the remainder of the day and through the night. The next day he was able to be on just the oxygen and they started preparing to ween him off. Finally he was ready to go home. Thank you God!

This was a traumatic event from me and all I think about was how our ducks were not in a row. We really are not prepared if the Lord decides to take us tomorrow. We have no wills and our life insurance policies are okay but, with four kids I think we may need a little bit more. We haven’t talked about what it is we wanted when we leave. I know it’s morbid but, in all honesty I’m starting to think we need to make sure things are set up so if either one of us should go the other one will be okay. And if we both should go whoever is caring for our children is able to support them.

I think in life we run from the scary not so pleasant things in our lives and we don’t take the time to properly prepare. Tomorrow is not promised to any one so, I just say this if you have children or a spouse make sure you have a decent life insurance policy. Make sure you have a will in which, it identifies who will care for your kids. I have no doubt in my mind that even without a will my kids will be cared for. But, if you know you have some shady family members or if you don’t have a lot of family you need to start thinking about who will care for your children. Will you leave enough money behind to bury you and support them? Too many children are left our here with nothing or significant others are trying to adjust to raising a family on one income.

I’m thankful for what God has done for my family and me thus far. However, after this weekend I know at any moment he can come and call either one of us home. I truly do not want someone to have a gofund me page to bury Donta and I. Or, to help support whoever, is caring for our children to including us. I am going to start working on getting us set up for the future.

Crazy Lady

What’s your vision?

What’s your vision? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Can you picture? If you can what exactly would you being doing  at this exact moment 10 years from now? This week in church my pastor discussed taking action in your life and start to make things happen. I realized that I have been slacking in so many areas that it is just pitiful. However, I also know it’s not too late to finish what I started and move on. My first step in this is creating and writing out my vision for my life. If you speak with any successful person many of them will tell you they set some goals and went for it.

So I’m going to do this I’m going to provide some vision to my thoughts and dreams. I’m going for it all the way. What’s the worst that could happen? The worst thing that could happen is that I FAIL. But, guess what? You can’t fail if you don’t try. Is there something on your heart to do? What is your dream? What is standing in your way? I’ll tell you what it’s “You.” Self-doubt and fear kills us all the time. It’s stops us from trying and moving forward in life. It’s why we stay in bad relationships, stay at terrible jobs, and settle for things in life. As long as were okay and things appear to be stable we fear taking that extra leap of faith and follow a hearts to true happiness.

You may be content with your life but, what if you could be more than content? What are willing to do to be extremely happy with a life full of meaningful acts?  Don’t be so quick to break you back to help others build their dreams when you can put the same effort into your own dream.

if-you-dont-buid-your-dreams

Honesty is the best policy

Last night we took the kids to dinner to have some family time. During dinner I start talking to them about what it’s like to go to college. I make sure to focus on the fact in college they are independent and no one will be standing over their shoulder telling them to do their homework or going online to find out if they are missing assignments. They were very nonchalant about the conversation. However, I think I was very real about the conversation. My husband and I understand first hand how it is to lose track in high school and be more focused on outside stuff instead of your education. This is why he went to vocational school and I went to the ARMY. I’m trying my best to set them up now so, they are able to manage themselves later. I told them about all the parties, the girls/boys, and freedom they will have. I also told them about all the ones that returned home because they forgot in the process they had to study and attend class.

After dinner my daughter decided to ride with me to Target (favorite store in the world) . While at Target I spoke to her about relationships. I shared my downfalls in relationships and my victories. We discussed friendships and self-worth. I was very candid in my responses to her and  shared with her my own struggles. As to why I am able to tell her the things that I do. I explained my childhood and why I’m not so willing to allow her to go to just any sleepover. I definitely went the honesty route.

Parents we have to let our children know about our past failures and experiences. If not, they are going to think we are just shooting out the ass and want them to be miserable. It’s okay to let them know that you haven’t been perfect or had it all together. If you used drugs tell them and tell them what you experienced. Tell them your failures they love you unconditionally. Stop hiding your children from the world because one day they will be out there alone not sure of how to navigate it. They may fall for some girl or some guy that will feed them a bunch of crap and lead them to a world of heartache and disappointment.

Well that’s just my thoughts.

Crazy Lady

My Journey: Taking Care of Me

I think sometimes we get so boggled down with our kids and our marriage that we forget about us and what we need to do for ourselves. I try to be a firm believer that everything happens in ours lives happens for a reason.  This is easier said than done sometimes. Like right now I’m obsessing on how it is taking 7 years to complete a 2 year graduate degree. This is something I want (I think I want it) and it’s something I need to move further in my career.

I’m sitting here trying to figure out how I managed to get a 4 year degree while having toddlers and here it is my kids are teenagers and I can’t seem to find the time or focus to finish this degree that can expand my career and take it to another level. Where did my drive and ambition go to I focus so much on my kids that it just slowly left me and now I’m just focused on how to get them through these years and off to college themselves.

I’ve given myself until the Spring 2016 semester to return to school not only because it’s important but, because I will be dropped from my program. I’m starting to think that I’m letting the fear of failure hold me back from achieving my goals. It’s hard when you have this nagging voice telling you to give up. And then it’s a little voice telling you to push forward.

So, here today I plan to focus on moving forward and I will finish my degree and accomplish something that I hold near and dear to my heart. If that means the kids will have to take a back seat for a semester so be it. I’m determined to finish what I started.

If you have a dream, goal, or a push to do something. Get off your butt and do it because the only way to fail is if you try. You can’t fail if you never tried in the first place. Join me in putting on our big girl/boy pants and making things happen in our lives.

“Fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what God intends for you to be.  You must move against it with the weapons of faith and love.” (Rick Warren)

Crazy Lady

Middle School Blues

Where is a parenting manual when you need it? I swear as your children get older it appears to get harder. My kids are very smart;however, why didn’t anyone tell me that when they hit 6th grade they lose their minds. You would have thought I learned from the first two and was prepared for the the 3rd one. Oh No! I just knew he was going to be focused and do what he’s suppose to do. But, he too is adjusting to being a 6th grader and I’m trying to give him time to find his groove.

Not saying my kids are not making good grades in school because they are it’s just the homework. I admit I work a lot and so a lot of my time is just stopping at the house long enough for everyone to pile in the car and head to practice. Yet, when I come home I’m checking planners for homework even in the 6th, 8th, and 9th grade. Lately we have been turning in late assignments, no assignments, and staying up late completing homework that should have been done hours ago. I’m trying hard not to be a Tiger Mom; however, like I said before I know what they are capable of and I will not allow them to fall below their potential.

My biggest fear is that they are going to grow up and follow in my footsteps and not live up to their full potential. When I got to high school I got lazy and was more into socializing than focusing on school work. I was not focused on college, careers, or even the future. I was only focused on the present. I lived in the present so long that I did not properly set myself up for future success.

So, now I’m buying dry eraser calendars, on pinterest finding printables, and doing everything in my power to get them organized. I’m trying to do everything in my power to help them be successful. No one said it would be easy but, Lord knows I didn’t think it would be this hard. But, I know I have good kids and it’s my job to raise them the best way I know how.

Well enough of my Middle School Blues!

Be Blessed

Crazy Lady

P. S. Check out my must haves for surviving life:

http://astore.amazon.com/4kidsandacraz-20

Setting the Bar

As the new school year approaches I find myself thinking about what are the expectations I’m setting for my kids this year. I have added some components to help us be organized such as a Family Command Center

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/356136283011453760/ . This is not my actual command center; however, it is what I am working towards. I often get a lot of my peers on Facebook inboxing me about how do I keep my kids on track (honor roll, high test scores, and athletics). My answer to that is I set standards and expectations for my children. This has been something my husband and I have done since they entering preschool. This goes for school work and behaviors.

If you allow your child to think that “C’s” are acceptable than you will start to get “C’s.” I have high expectations for my children because I am fully aware of what their capabilities. If they struggle I remind them of the importance of working harder. We live in the world where nothing is impossible but, it is all a matter of how much effort are you willing to put into it. Have confidence in your children and be aware of their needs. Children will see your confidence and they will learn to have confidence within themselves. Praise your children when they meet your expectations and offer them assistance and encouragement when they do not. Once you set the bar it goes pretty far in raising hardworking children.

Just a reminder teachers can not do it alone. It’s the love, support, and participation from parents that take our children to the next level. 

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